Sunday's End

Today my oldest cooked dinner. i was surprised she had the energy as she went grocery shopping with me (saved $20 with coupons!), to Starbucks and Walgreens. But of course i had much more energy when i was her age than i do now.

So no asking, begging or prodding. Just in the mood i guess to cook and i wasn't going to turn down the offer. She whipped up a simple pasta dish with turkey, mascarpone, corn and parmesan. While she cooked my other two kids came into the kitchen and they all talked, teased and were actually jovial and enjoying each other's company. Usually they are arguing or stressed (understandably) and in no mood to do much talking.

The times we have had to be together for a meal have been so rare lately with all of us so busy - working, going to school and other activities. My kids (3) are 18, 23 and 26. They all live at home and will most likely remain at home until they marry (this is latino tradition). As they bantered i just listened and enjoyed this moment of family harmony.

It was just nice for everyone to be together for this hour or so. Then one by one, they all went off their separate ways for the evening. The oldest to see her boyfriend, my son to see his girlfriend and the youngest went to work. My husband was at his soccer game (i'm a soccer widow every sunday) and all was quiet for the evening.

It was a nice ending to a nice weekend. Hopefully the coming week can be just as good, I'll be enjoying the leftovers from her dish for tomorrow's lunch!

What Empty Nest?

Most people’s children leave the nest when they turn 18. Some leave for college or travel the world and others just to be in their own place. I constantly read or hear about so many mothers upset about empty nest syndrome – feeling their lives now have no meaning and they have nothing to do since their children are gone. I envy those women with empty nests! My youngest will be graduating from high school this year and just like her older brother and sister – she will not be leaving to go off on her own. The same as it was for me and my two sisters – however unlike my mother who did not want us to leave and did everything to prevent it – I DO want my children to go out and spread their wings. Alas the economy among other things has kept them at home while they work and go to school. Grandma (my mom) is no help either constantly telling them they don’t need to go off into a dangerous world and should stay home until they marry, etc. as is the tradition in our culture. And while most moms would probably be thrilled to still have her “babies” at home – I am not. Having married young (19) to get out of the house and had children young (21) at the insistence of my husband, I was looking forward to some ME time and trying to improve the relationship with my husband and having some fun. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE my children but what once was a perfect house for a mom, dad and three small children is definitely not the case now that we are five adults. And to make it even worse we only have 1 ½ baths with the main bath only accessible from our bedroom! With everyone working odd hours and needing to take showers also at odd hours – needless to say it ruins the mood. And again the economy doesn't help making buying a bigger house out of the question right now. I long for the day when I can stay in my PJs all day Saturday….watch an R rated movie without feeling uncomfortable if the kids walk in during a sex scene….be spontaneous in the bedroom, living or kitchen for that matter….a whole day of uninterrupted work on any one of my many hobbies…be able to take off on a moment’s notice for a three-day fun-in-the-sun weekend. There is so much to do and see out in the world that I not only long for the day I have an empty nest but for the day I can retire from work to devote more time to experience everything. A great article in the New York Times sums it up best - http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/20/health/20well.html?em.