New Stage to Come

So many of the blogs I’ve come across lately have had to do with young mother’s just starting their families and all that entails with babies. Some have to do with older school age children and a whole new set of experiences. How great to have been able to have this network of women back in the day when my kids were little to compare notes and chat with each other on what’s normal and what might need some extra attention. I am now at the brink of a new stage in my life. My kids are all in college (although still living at home) and my body is now officially into the peri-menopause stage. Let’s just say I’m not liking this stage ONE BIT!


I’ve always been lucky in that I’d never had severe cramping, pms or other heavy duty side effects of Mother Nature’s monthly visits. Now all of sudden I’m getting the cramping, the hot flashes and to make it truly official irregular periods. I just had one a couple of weeks ago and now here we go again!!

I had done some gardening yesterday and thought the back ache was from all the work I’d done in the yard. At first I was a little worried thinking something else might be wrong so I googled and came across a site that gives all the symptoms and that was one of them. I’ve always been regular as a clock and could plan around them, looks like no longer. My doctor says I could have a hysterectomy and have the whole mess over and done with but that would be major surgery and six weeks of recuperating – no thanks.

Although this is an inconvenience, its tolerable and I think I’ll (literally) just sweat it out and hope this for me will be a short run. The site does say though that all this could last a few months or a few years!! I’ve been feeling the hot flashes already since last year so hopefully I don’t have too much longer to go. Even though I’m in my late 40s (48 this Friday!) I’m so ready to get on to the next stage and be free and happy go lucky from mother nature’s inconvenient and meddle some visits (just like some family members huh?).

Another symptom that is really affecting me is the memory loss – earlier today I was having the hardest time trying to remember ‘calamari’. It was on the tip of my tongue but for the life of me I could not remember the name of that seafood! Very frustrating. Even more so when it has to do with work projects.

I guess I should go visit everybody’s fave doctor (I guess it is when you are trying to or in the process of having babies) – my gyn/ob and make sure everything checks out ok. I haven’t been in a couple of years because at my last visit they added another procedure (again due to the age factor). I now get to have a rectal exam too. I have found that all that Lamaze training has come in handy during the gyno visits.

Well all you young ‘uns enjoy and everyone else, I know you feel my pain. I would appreciate any helpful tips or insights.

What Empty Nest?

Most people’s children leave the nest when they turn 18. Some leave for college or travel the world and others just to be in their own place. I constantly read or hear about so many mothers upset about empty nest syndrome – feeling their lives now have no meaning and they have nothing to do since their children are gone. I envy those women with empty nests! My youngest will be graduating from high school this year and just like her older brother and sister – she will not be leaving to go off on her own. The same as it was for me and my two sisters – however unlike my mother who did not want us to leave and did everything to prevent it – I DO want my children to go out and spread their wings. Alas the economy among other things has kept them at home while they work and go to school. Grandma (my mom) is no help either constantly telling them they don’t need to go off into a dangerous world and should stay home until they marry, etc. as is the tradition in our culture. And while most moms would probably be thrilled to still have her “babies” at home – I am not. Having married young (19) to get out of the house and had children young (21) at the insistence of my husband, I was looking forward to some ME time and trying to improve the relationship with my husband and having some fun. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE my children but what once was a perfect house for a mom, dad and three small children is definitely not the case now that we are five adults. And to make it even worse we only have 1 ½ baths with the main bath only accessible from our bedroom! With everyone working odd hours and needing to take showers also at odd hours – needless to say it ruins the mood. And again the economy doesn't help making buying a bigger house out of the question right now. I long for the day when I can stay in my PJs all day Saturday….watch an R rated movie without feeling uncomfortable if the kids walk in during a sex scene….be spontaneous in the bedroom, living or kitchen for that matter….a whole day of uninterrupted work on any one of my many hobbies…be able to take off on a moment’s notice for a three-day fun-in-the-sun weekend. There is so much to do and see out in the world that I not only long for the day I have an empty nest but for the day I can retire from work to devote more time to experience everything. A great article in the New York Times sums it up best - http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/20/health/20well.html?em.